...I have to lassoo my brain. I'm trying to write a paper (which is typically when I get the greatest desire to blog, because I shouldn't :), but instead of just thinking about what I want to say and then saying it, my brain won't. It's not that I don't want to, exactly. It's more like it tries to go every direction but there. Like, small group tomorrow (crap, I need to email my girls!), those verses I need to get for my friend (and isn't that more important, anyway?), and I wonder if Tania can hang out some time this week, and Johnna, and Tina, and Candus, because I really haven't gotten to see them much (I should call them asap so we can get together before the semester is over!), my room is really due to be straightened up (is that pile the clean clothes, or is that one?), and I haven't gotten to talk, really talk, to Tamara in AGES (which is totally my fault, ihml).
And after I calm myself down about this crazy to-do list that was not that pressing ten minutes ago and that I actually have other time set aside to do, then there's still some invisible film my productive thoughts can't push through. I think that part is fear. Because, what if I try to think about my paper, and I can't? Haven't you HEARD of writer's block? It's a very real and scary thing. I've had it before. And then, what if I do get started and I get stuck half-way through? What if I can't make some of my points and have to start over? What if I CAN'T get started? What if that stupid, hateful, First Paragraph just doesn't come into existence?
Do you see what I have to put up with?
P.s. I have a theory about research papers that I will share in another post. It has revolutionized the way I think about life. Well, not ALL life, just the part of life that houses research papers and their various friends and family.
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