Without further ado: Arizona, Part Deux

I know, I have been remiss in my posting duties.  This school year started off with several bangs and lots of transitions and, well, my blog certainly took a back seat.  As it should have :)

The following is my portion of the update letter from the Arizona mission trip.  I apologize that it has not gotten into the mail yet, but it will soon, and I also apologize that you will have already read half of it when it does :)  Robert's section is probably much more interesting than mine, though, so make sure you read it! (when it comes. which it will. soon.)

Here's the letter:

Although I went on this mission trip last summer, my time in Arizona this summer could not have been more different.  We stayed with at the same church we did last time, and worked with the same missionaries, but the kind of work we did was stretching in a new way.  Instead of working on the camp grounds to make it ready for the people to come, we worked during the camp to minister to the people.  Our physical, emotional, and spiritual limits were all tested and pushed and I know that our whole team, one by one, came to the breaking point in which we had to fully rely on God’s strength in us through His Holy Spirit.

The work I did on this trip was not the only thing about it that was different for me.  My role on the team last year was very simple: go, do what you’re told, and do it with a Godly attitude.  This year, I worked closely with our team leader, Emily, who is the same age as I and a steadfast woman of God.  Because of this, I glimpsed the leadership side of a mission trip on a much more personal level.  I have worked before at Conroe Bible Church as a youth sponsor and I also spent this last school year leading a small group and God began, during these times, to teach me things about our relationship.  One of the lessons I have been learning most is that of loneliness.

While I experienced the wonderful fellowship that comes with serving on a mission team, the experience this year was different than it has been before.  I left for Arizona with Emily a day earlier than the rest of the team in order to help her prepare for our trip into the White Mountains.  I learned practical things like how to tip hotel shuttle drivers and rent vans, but I also learned that being a leader is lonely.  This is not a bad thing.  Loneliness is good for us because it means we are experiencing something that only the Lord can share with us and that only the Lord can understand.  The loneliness I learned as a small group leader is that the burden I carry for my girls can only be understood by the Lord and on the mission trip I learned that leadership means that one is separated from the rest of the team by responsibility.  Because I was only helping Emily I did not catch the full brunt of this, but it was very healthy to learn.  It made me check myself and my attitude and ask, “Why am I here?”  There were lots and lots of moments when Jesus was the only One working with me and I was tempted to feel left out or afraid until He reminded me that this belonged to us and us alone.  I am thankful for loneliness and thankful that He allowed me to share in His work among in the Apache Nation.

Another thing I have been learning over the course of my life is that God is sovereign.  That is a fact easily known and a concept not easily understood.  It seems like once I understand His sovereignty in one area, I quickly discover another in which I do not understand.  The way the Lord brought His sovereignty to my attention during our time teaching vacation Bible school at the camp in Whiteriver was to show me His warriors.  Most of the children we loved on came from broken and hurting families where they were often hurt by their families.  Some children I could only pray for but I had the privilege to join with others in prayer.  I was astounded by the spiritual burdens some of them had for their mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters.  To see their hearts was encouraging, saddening, and humbling.  I was at once angry that they were in these positions and hopeful for the rest of their nation because of where they were.  I realized that God has called them to be a light in this world in a way that I have not been nor likely ever will be called.  I learned that He is not afraid to give young children His Word and send them out to fight for His Kingdom.  I was awed by the faith I saw in them and encouraged in my walk by their determination. 

Some children heard about the Lord for the first time.  One morning, I had the honor of doing the craft and I shared the plan of Salvation with them in small groups through making wordless book bracelets.  They had so much fun making them and listening to the story I told for each bead.  I know the Lord will use the missionaries there to continue to teach them those truths.

The love God has for these Apache boys and girls was made abundantly clear throughout the time we were with them and I am thankful to have been able to be a part of sharing it!  Please keep them in your prayers and thank you again for partnering with me in this.  May God bless you richly!


Here are some pictures that you probably won't see in the mailed letter (it's so exciting!):

We took this on the way back down the mountain.  It was too amazing to pass up!

 We played lots of relay games with the children.  LOTS of them.  The best one was Drip Drip Splash which has the same rules as Duck Duck Goose, except in this one a cup of water dumped on your head means you're "it". Remember it for next summer.  You won't regret it.

 For the worship time and game time the younger ones would come and hang out with us.  Trevin was a hoot and a half :) Just ask Molly, Rachel, and Mariah who worked with the preschool

The preschool.

 Frybread and beans is a staple meal on the reservation.  You don't even know how good it is! I'll make some for dinner sometime and invite you over.

 Just like any VBS, we had to first learn the songs. The theme was "Jesus Is My Superhero." Can't you tell?

 The guys were so holy.

And then they threw water balloons at us... With help and instigation from some Apache boys at the camp.

 Molly was a devious pro.

I think she must do this a lot in her spare time.

One morning the sound equipment took too long to get set up, so we improvised.  I loved it :)

On our last day in the White Mountains, we went to the movies!  It was fun to chill with everyone after working so hard.

We had the best hosts ever at the White River Assembly of God church!  I love the Jimenez and Warwick families!  Thank you for the opportunity to serve with you, and thank you for taking such good care of us!  I am in awe of what God is doing through all of you.

I owe all my picture gratitude to Mariah Straughan :)

Once upon a time in

Arizona....

My blog began with a post about it, and it has made recurring appearances in my life. Hmm...

Have you ever noticed that God doesn't let us stay in our comfort zones? I mean, if we are willing to follow Him, He doesn't. Sometimes we stay in them anyway because we are unwilling to grow. When that happens, sometimes He lets us ignore Him for a while before making the world go all topsy-turvy on us. It's good for us to stretch; it's healthy. Ask any fitness instructor. Heck, ask God, because He invented muscles and He knows all about stretching. Can you imagine what it would be like doing a warm-up routine with God.....? Yeah, if you got a weird mental image of sweatbands and stuff then we were totally just in the same place. Thanks for sharing that semi-awkward moment with me. I appreciate it. I mean, I really feel like we're closer now than we were before. And I really hope God doesn't wear sweatpants in the big RL (<-- "real life").

Moving right along.

So, this post is really just a teaser post. Know why? I bet not. Want me to tell you? Aw, you're so sweet, of course I'll tell you!

Reason number one:  It's late, but half of my brain still thinks it's only midnight, which makes weird things come out of my fingers onto the keyboard and then onto the screen.

Reason number two:  I really do have a super-cool post in mind that I want to write, but I got sidetracked by the new template designs, as you can see by my new and rad page.

Reason number three: I can't, in my current mental state, effectively relate all the stellar points I want to make and drive home the many "Dude, God did this" moments, so I want to wait until later, when I can.
                                        (crap.  i just talked myself up so now I have to bring it.)

Basically, the whole point of this post was to work out the kinks in my unused typing muscles and let everyone who reads this know that I am back and just itching to write!!!!!!!!!! (and just so you know, my face doesn't match those exclamation points.  I'm like, totally dead-pan right now.  Kinda makes me want to lol and such.)

Buenas noches!

sooooo i'm leaving for my missions trip to AZ really soon! Like in a few minutes! So please pray for me :) and pray for a parking spot, b/c this is ridik.

derrivation of deserving

what we (any human being, you) don't deserve: apologies. forgiveness. love. loyalty. friends. any good thing.

what we (I, you, everyone else) deserve: the eternal separation from anything which can bring bring hope, relief, comfort, rest, peace, self-worth, any good thing.

Death is too small a word to define what we deserve.

what we (all of mankind, including you and me) have been offered: purpose. rest. help. forgiveness. loyalty. friendship. love.

In short, grace (getting the things we don't deserve) and mercy (not getting the things we do deserve).

(I, you, he, she, them) we all have to give up our rights--because we don't have them to begin with--and when we do, we will find that what we get in return for our surrender is far better than the things we tried so hard to hold onto and demand, but never really got.

This is what you get when you make friends with an English major...

I don't know how proficient your Middle English is, but I've just undergone a semester of reading nothing but (except for a brief foray into Geoffrey of Monmouth's HRB, of course, which was translated, and all the Spanish I read in my other three classes).  I think my favorite piece of literature was...  Duh.  The one with Gawain.  I've always loved Gawain.  Even when he went through his beheading stage...  But this semester I was also introduced to Havelok the Dane, who is a pretty awesome guy even if he is a bit lacking in personality--but who can blame him?  I mean, if you had had to go through what he went through, you might not have much personality, either.  And then there is Troilus.  Sigh.  Oh, Troilus.  You're almost the perfect man, but not quite.  If only he had told creepy Pandarus to take a hike.  But, Troy was doomed anyway, so, there wasn't much that could have been done about it.  Gawain still takes the cake in my book, but I don't know who would win if he and Diomedes got into it...  Thoughts?


Anyway,  back to the point.  I know you'll all think I'm really smart and stuff and just showing off my expensive education, but that's only half of what I'm doing.  The other half is this: that in a very random string of links, I came upon this poem.  It was what I needed to hear at the time and even a day later and not at my wits' end, it's pretty darn amazing.  If you don't want to wade through the weirdly spelled words, I won't blame you, even though the gloss is pretty thorough.  I will blame you, though, if you don't re-google the title and find a better translation to suit your non English-majory taste.  


Be careful.  This poem might just blow your mind clean out of your skull:


In a Valley of This Restless Mind



Stay tuned for "What you get when you make friends with a Spanish major..."

Sometimes I feel like...

...I have to lassoo my brain.  I'm trying to write a paper (which is typically when I get the greatest desire to blog, because I shouldn't :), but instead of just thinking about what I want to say and then saying it, my brain won't.  It's not that I don't want to, exactly.  It's more like it tries to go every direction but there.  Like, small group tomorrow (crap, I need to email my girls!), those verses I need to get for my friend (and isn't that more important, anyway?), and I wonder if Tania can hang out some time this week, and Johnna, and Tina, and Candus, because I really haven't gotten to see them much (I should call them asap so we can get together before the semester is over!), my room is really due to be straightened up (is that pile the clean clothes, or is that one?), and I haven't gotten to talk, really talk, to Tamara in AGES (which is totally my fault, ihml).

And after I calm myself down about this crazy to-do list that was not that pressing ten minutes ago and that I actually have other time set aside to do, then there's still some invisible film my productive thoughts can't push through.  I think that part is fear.  Because, what if I try to think about my paper, and I can't?  Haven't you HEARD of writer's block?  It's a very real and scary thing.  I've had it before.  And then, what if I do get started and I get stuck half-way through? What if I can't make some of my points and have to start over?  What if I CAN'T get started?  What if that stupid, hateful, First Paragraph just doesn't come into existence?

Do you see what I have to put up with?

P.s.  I have a theory about research papers that I will share in another post.  It has revolutionized the way I think about life.  Well, not ALL life, just the part of life that houses research papers and their various friends and family.

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